"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."
- Carl Bard
"Life is like a new car. Every once in a while you've got to find an open road and see what it will do."
- the "Life's Little Instruction Book" calendar, 12-25-08
Here's what I said about it then:
I came very close to doing this last year. I applied for and was offered a teaching position in Texas that I would have really really liked. I want to teach again so badly that sometimes I hate even the thought of going to work each day.
Don't misunderstand, I love the place that I work (you won't find one better), but I don't always love what I do there. What I do there is noble and honorable. I love the people I work with, I'm nuts about my kids, but I am a teacher at heart, and I miss it dreadfully.
To explain why I am not a teacher anymore would take more effort than I want to expend just now.
The job in Texas was soooooo very tempting. Just the kind of place I like - a small city with a big university. Rolling hills, friendly people, staff who really wanted to hire me. But it turned out that it wasn't the right . . . oh, I don't know . . . time? There were family considerations & a sucky real estate market, among other things. But I wanted to take it, oh so very much.
Just about every miserable, rotten thing that has ever happened to me has happened here, in this area.
Every now & then I look. The job is still open, and I wonder, "What if?" "Did I do the right thing?" "What if I just told them I changed my mind, packed it all up & started over?"
The open road calls me, beckoning like a seductive temptress, stroking my terminal case of wanderlust.
And here is my conundrum today: I haven't stopped looking at colleges throughout the country to see what's open. I confine my looking to areas where I have friends and/or family, since I don't want to go to a new area and not know anyone. So today, I was cruising through the colleges that I had bookmarked. To keep it simple, I look in Virginia, North Carolina, Illinois, Wisconsin, Texas, and California. With a couple odd ones here and there just because they sound like cool places to live.
I found one.
One that is close to both friends and family. I don't really know if it is a viable option, so tomorrow I will call. Sometimes, when a position comes open, the program knows that they will fill it with one of their adjuncts that wants to go full-time, but state laws being what they are, they have to advertise the position anyway.
The educational side of my profession is a small one. There are a limited number of programs per state, and usually 2-4 full-time faculty positions budgeted for each. So openings don't come along often. When they do, I can't ignore them.
So, if the opening is a 'real' one, I'll be stewing and chewing and considering all my pros & cons. I don't look forward to it. But I can't not consider it. Ya know?