Physical Pleasures

And no, I'm not referring to THAT, you filthy minded 12 year olds. This has nothing to do with the horizontal mambo, the nasty, that other particular physical pleasure.

This post was inspired by a couple things. But they got me to thinking about the various ways that we get pure physical pleasure and satisfaction, in a completely non-sexual way:

• Scratching: I have a spot on my back that always itches - a mole or some other dadgum thing - and it drives me crazy (a little to the left...down a little...a little more...ooooh right there...yesssss...now scratch hard). It is incredibly annoying. So picture a bear backing up to a tree and scratch scratch scratching to his heart's content. That's what I do on the edges of doors, corners, and, yes, tree trunks. How many things can compare with having someone scratch your back when you really need it? And I'm not talking about a gentle knuckle rub. I want fingernails. Sharp ones. In the words of my brother, "do it like you hate me." Ahhhhh..............

http://www.georgemccarthy.com/p7ssm_img_2/fullsize/Black_Bear_Scratching_Yellowstone_USA_fs.jpg

Oh, and by the way, this little gizmo is a great multi-tasker. You can scratch your back whilst scoopin' up your noodles. I have one at home and one at work, just for scratching heaven. Come to me, my little friend:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/312DAK2TSVL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

• Massage: Kind of along the same lines, but a more gentle, relaxing, soothing pleasure. At least the kind of massage I have in mind. I have had two that hurt so much I cried. Cried like a baby. And I hurt all the next day, too. No, this is the 'fluff & buff' type, the kind that makes you feel all limp and loved (like something else I know - heh).

• Going to the bathroom: this may sound strange, but think about it. When you have to go real bad, so bad you are doing the pee-pee dance or the holy-shit-I-have-to-keep-my-legs-crossed-because-I-am-about-to-poo-everywhere posture, is there any better relief than finally getting to the toilet and letting those sphincters relax? Ahhhhhhh...................
  

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/123/395547558_c56bc35f9b_b.jpg

• Sneezing: especially when it just lingers back there, teasing and tickling your nose. My father taught me how to sneeze silently by keeping my throat open. This is a good thing for a singer to do, since sneezing is hard on the vocal chords, and I can do it, but...um...no. Let me tell you, it is NOT the same. You just don't get that same wonderful feeling of satisfaction as when you explosively blast it out, hopefully into a tissue. Of course there are times when a sneeze doesn't feel good, like when you have a bad sore throat or a chest infection or when you have a sneezing fit of about 20 of them in a row (like I do sometimes). But overall I'd have to say that they feel pretty dang good.
  

http://estb.msn.com/i/32/E0D03C1926DC2A5BCD0B9A6609142.jpg

• Icy cold drink on a hot day: say it is about 95 degrees outside and you have been cutting the grass. You feel like you are melting, and your face is on fire. Some kind and considerate person hands you a delicious icy cold beverage, so cold that the condensation is running down the glass. You hold it to your neck, then take one deep drink, feeling the chill creep all the way down your throat and into your stomach. Some people like a cold beer (I think beer tastes like horse piss - how would I know that? Well, it looks just like it, so it must taste like it. I hate beer), but I prefer a cold, fruity concoction. And if there is a little bit of tequila or rum in it, all the better. Ahhhhhhh.....................
  

http://www.usefilm.com/images/5/9/5/595/152495-medium.jpg

• My li'l electric blanket: this was the main impetus for the topic of this post (the other would be embarrassing for a certain someone I know). It has been right nippy here in the south lately. Not as nippy as those of you in northern climes have been feeling, but for us, it's cold. I am not one to keep the house toasty warm either, so my living room is a wee bit chilly. I have a throw-sized electric blanket, and if I turn it on high and drape it over the sofa for a few minutes, when I sit down I am enveloped in delicious heat from head to toe, top to bottom. I can practically feel myself steam. After a while, it gets too hot and I have to turn it off or to the lowest setting, but for one brief shining moment, I am in bliss. A hot tub can accomplish the same thing, if you are so lucky. Ahhhhh..................
  

http://www.chillywillyfan.com/chillypics/14/electricchilly.jpg

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. If you have any others, please add them to the comments section and we can all have more vicarious pleasures. Ahhhhhh.................