Saturday, January 10, 2009

Buffets are evil

My brother is in meat-eating heaven, and I mean that totally in the gastronomic sense. Really.

Last year (or the year before, I forget), Espeto na Brasa, a Brazilian steakhouse, opened in beautiful downtown Norfolk.
BS & I met my brother there this evening.

Let me describe this for you:

It is housed in a lovely, old, nicely restored circa 1908 building.
There are a lot of those downtown, and, thankfully,
more of them are being preserved.

The menu includes both a cold and hot food bar - not extensive, but nice.
One of the items on it are marinated artichoke hearts, and,
no Sandra Lee, I did not find them appealing at all.
(This is a blatant shout-out to my online friends)
What I did love were the fresh green beans.
For some unfathomable reason, I just love fresh green beans.

Oh, and there was a very large column of pecorino romano cheese that you can chip at with sharp tongs.
That was pretty fun, seeing how big a piece you could whack out of there.

There were tiny little cheese-filled rolls that were very good.
Ours were piping hot, fresh from the oven.

But still, all this may leave one wondering, "So what?"
What is so special about this place, you ask.
Absolutely nothing.......if you are a vegetarian.
There should be a sign on the front door,
"Vegetarians BEWARE! Spend your money somewhere else."

The pièce de résistance is the MEAT.
Meat, glorious meat.
Mass quantities of it.
Large, erect columns of hot meat (heh, heh, heh).
The place is for carnivores.
Lovers of the tasty parts of animal flesh,
seared on hot grills,
seasoned with garlic or wrapped in smoky bacon,
delivered to your table on towering , sizzling skewers.
All you want.
Over and over.
All your tablemates want.
Over and over.

Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, chicken livers (blech),
even grilled pineapple, coated with cinnamon-sugar.

And then, after you have stopped wanting it for fear of imminent gastric blowout
(reminding me of the Monty Python skit),
they try to bring you more.

You don't believe me?

This is but a mere sample, a trifling taste, of the meaty wonders that await.
It's expensive, but if you are a meat-lover, you would likely think it's worth it.

BS had never been there. He was impressed,
but did nothing but groan in agony on the way home.
I chose not to partake of the hunks of hot meat.
I got the lesser priced hot & cold bars and still ate too much.

Buffets are evil.

ps - I went to one of these in Hyannis MA almost 3 years ago,
and while the meaty portions were pretty much equal,
the hot & cold bars at the MA place were far superior.
At least that's how I remember it.

1 comment:

Rosie Hawthorne said...

I, too, think buffets are evil.

And I hate going to a buffet with Mr. Hawthorne, as he's been known to knock over small children and old ladies with walkers to get to the food.