ODE TO THE BATHROOM

M&M recently posted to his blog after, oh, maybe about a YEAR! So, after a whole year of life experiences, what does he choose to write about? He was BESMIRCHING my good name, MOCKING (in his opinion) my unnatural fixation on bathrooms. I beg to differ. Bathrooms are important. Who's with me here?

I KNOW Sista G is mentally high-5'ing me on this, right?

*crickets*

(I am also into selected capitalizations today.)

When we went to New Hampshire last year, we stayed in a very nice little one-room cabin. Had most everything we needed. I had only 1 complaint. Well, possibly 2. Ummm, maybe 3. Make that 4.

• Complaint #1 - the shower stall was tiny, so you could NEVER escape from the water. It was impossible to soap up, because as soon as you got some lather on your washrag or in your hands, it got rinsed off by the showerhead of doom. You either had to plaster yourself against the cold sides of the shower, or you had to turn the water off when you wanted to spread lovely smelling suds all over. And speaking of, there was another reason you had to turn the water off between rinsings, which leads me to....

• Complaint #2 - the hot water heater was about the size of a wine glass. If you didn't follow the above steps, you'd be rinsing off those delicious suds with FRIGID water. Northern New Hampshire frigid. THAT lesson was learned pretty daggum quick.

• Complaint #3 - there was no sink in the bathroom, so we had to do our hocking & spitting in the KITCHEN sink. That's just wrong. 

• Complaint #4 - it was very difficult to wash clothes. And since we did a lot of hiking, we got kinda dirty. I didn't bring 5 pairs of jeans with me, and, silly spoiled me, I wanted some clean clothes. I like clean underwear. Won't have that problem this time though, because one of two things will happen. Either we will get a place with a washing machine, or I will be bringing along one of my latest purchases (bought on account of the power is known to go out for long periods of time at my house during a hurricane). THAT report will wait until I actually use it.

So, see? Bathrooms are important to quality of life. I am but a simple woman and my needs are few, but I want a toilet that flushes.
This would NOT qualify.

http://themightyninth.org/War%20Stories/Outhouse/Outhouse.htm

I want a bathroom sink to spit in, a shower with sufficient hot water and space, and I want it to be clean. This WOULD qualify.

http://www.homeaway.com/vacation-rental/p7080988h 

It's supposed to be a vacation after all, not hardship duty. Really, is that too much to ask for? It's not like I'm asking for a whirlpool tub & a bidet & a personal masseuse, after all.

Next, I guess I need to explain the map-love to him.