HEARTS & FLOWERS & SMOOCHES & CHOCOLATE

Last year, because I was lazy, I just reposted my Valentine's Day post from the year before.
Here it is.

I was not very complimentary to Cupid, the annoying little fart.

So, regarding my disdain for the chubby, arrow-wielding, diaper-clad brat,
look at the picture below.


http://groovyfoody.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/liquid_chocolate.jpg

I have to again eat my words.
Not all of them, mind you.
Just a couple, but this time they will be dipped in chocolate to make them taste a little better,
although I still have to hold on to my previously uttered opinion that when you are alone,
Valentine's Day brings nothing but a little sadness, a little envy, a little wishful thinking.
And, for me, now it brings sympathy, because I remember those days.

I still maintain my opinion that Valentine's Day is for sweethearts.
Not for parents,
Not for children.
Not for teachers,
Not for classmates.
Not for bosses, siblings, cousins, or BFFs.

Besides, we don't really even know who we are honoring today.
There are a bunch of early Christian martyrs named "Valentine",
none of whom had anything to do with lovey-dovey,
and no one knows which one got the day named after him.

M&M is under orders NOT to get me any chocolate.
(I'm fat enough.)
No roses.
(They just wither & die.)

Hmmm, I wonder if he knows women don't really mean it when they say
"You don't have to get me anything."
??

(Just kidding, dear.)

We will go to Carrabba's for lasagna.
I will drink sangria like it's punch.
I will look in wonder at his lovely face
and wonder anew how I got so lucky.
I will make him brownies with drizzle.
And a good time will be had by all.

So, to those for whom Valentine's Day is still a day to be endured with false cheer,
please feel free to use this, with my best wishes...


http://images.zwani.com/graphics/antivalentines_day/images/90slapcupid.jpg

Happy Valentine's Day

Just a brief follow-up to my last post:

I Blame The Pope

Yes, I do. It's his fault.
More specifically, it's the fault of Pope Gelasius I.
He's the one that made Valentine's Day an official church holiday in 496 AD.

Some people have also blamed Geoffery Chaucer,
who wrote some romantic nonsense about it in 1382.

But wait, let's not stop there.
There's plenty of blame to go around.

The earliest surviving valentine was written in the fifteenth century by
Charles, Duke of Orleans.

Hamlet mentions it in 1600.

In 1797, a British publisher came out with a booklet containing sloppy sentimental verses
for gentlemen too unimaginative to think of their own.
Embellished valentines then flourished in the UK.
Sadly, the custom trickled across the pond, and in the mid 1800's,
they began being mass-produced here in the States.

That's Esther Howland's fault.
She was so besotted by one of the English ones she received
that she got her father's book & stationary store to start selling them.
It's so much her fault that the Greeting Card Association gives out an annual
"Esther Howland Award for a Greeting Card Visionary".
Hmmph.
Makes me want to puke.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Victorian-valentines-cards-two-cherubs-red-hearts.jpg

The rest is Hallmark history.

disclaimer: I found all this on Wiki, so it may all be hooey anyway.

Here's the thing.
Valentine's Day is clearly an excuse to make men feel unworthy
unless they ply their wives/girlfriends with cards, candy, chocolate,
jewels, and other manner of sentimental gifts.
Of course, the women reciprocate with sloppy sentimentality of their own.

It is not a holiday to exchange these things with parents, children,
brothers, sisters, dogs, cats, co-workers, or classmates.

If you don't have one of those sweethearts, Valentine's Day is endured, not celebrated.
It makes me want to curl my lip & growl like Clint Eastwood in "Gran Torino"
(one of the best movies ever made, by the way).

Having said that,
*sheepishly hangs head*
thank you Pop and Brother for the Valentines I got in the mail today.

Mom, I hope you believed me when I said I didn't want one,
'cause BS & I will be seeing you Sunday for lunch & a movie,
and I didn't get you one.
I didn't get BS one either.
Or Pop or Brother.

Of course, this is all blatant and unabashed sour grapes on my part.
I seem to recall writing something along these lines last year around this time too.
So . . .

Happy Damn Valentine's Day

Damn??!! How could I possible use damn in the same sentence as Valentine's Day. Ugh. If you have no sweetheart, Valentine's Day blows. No roses, no chocolates, no champagne, no snuggling. Yeah, I just love Valentine's Day.

So I decided to give myself some chocolate today. Me & BS that is. And to satisfy one of my faithful readers, I am doing this COOKING POST. I chopped & sliced & stirred. I made chili & brownies. The end.........................



Oh okay. I'm supposed to elaborate a bit. First thing, I have been told that I cannot call the stuff I make 'chili'. Chili purists would recoil in horror to see some of the things that I put in it, so I'll call it 'stew' instead. I took your basic chili recipe with meat, onion, garlic, chili powder, and liquidy tomato products. Then I defiled it by putting in stuff that no self-respecting bowl of 'real' chili should have - diced sweet potatoes, cinnamon, cumin, corn, BEANS, a bit of chocolate, and chipotle chiles. Serve with sour cream, chopped fresh cilantro, cheese, and a little more cheese (and for BS - hot sauce on the side).

I like the sweetness of the sweet potato with the spiciness of the other stuff. The chipotles lend some heat with a hint of smokiness, and the bit of chocolate & cinnamon add a depth of flavor that ordinary chili can't live up to, kind of like a brown mole sauce. It's goooood.

For dessert, I gave us chocolate. Lots of chocolate in the form of brownies with drizzle.

Drizzle is the term coined by one of my best friends when I made some ganache to drizzle over her birthday brownies. Now BS demands drizzle whenever I make brownies. And speaking of brownies, I don't understand brownie mixes with their chemical-y flavor. It only takes a few minutes to mix up a pan of brownies. Why would anyone use a mix? They are so simple: butter, chocolate, eggs. sugar & flour. That's it. Nirvana.

Making the ganache is ridiculously easy as well. Heat cream & add semi-sweet chocolate chips. Although, when you first add the chips (letting it sit a minute to melt the chocolate) and start stirring, you will think you have surely ruined it. Look...

Looks clumpy & gross. But keep stirring, mes amis, and the magic happens.

Silky, smooth, gloosy. Wait, that's not right. That should be glossy. Drizzle a little on your dense & rich brownie and who needs a stinkin' sweetheart?

So here is your obligatory Valentine's Day greeting:

http://images.zwani.com/graphics/antivalentines_day/images/90slapcupid.jpg

Excuse me now while I kick BS off the couch (lovingly, of course). He has fallen asleep and started to snore.