ME TIME

This one is a bit tricky to write, since I DO NOT,
in any way, want it to sound like I don't want M&M around.
I do.
For the rest of my life.

I spent loads of years griping and complaining that I was lonely, especially after BS went off to college.
Hated it.
I had more "me time" than I knew what to do with, so much that I got sick of myself.
A lot.
There weren't many surprises anymore - I was too much like me.
I usually knew what I was going to do & say, and when I talked to myself,
I would always politely answer back, so the conversation was missing that...oh, I don't know..
that crucial element of...another person!
And I always laughed at my own jokes, even if the sound of my own voice was getting a little boring.
Know what I mean?

http://www.cartoonstock.com

It's not that I was looking for romance.
I just wanted a friend to do things with.
A buddy, a pal, maybe with occasional benefits (I didn't just say that. Nope, I didn't),
but no one that was around ALL the time.
Romance meant accountability.
Without it, I could still do what I wanted, eat when I wanted, sleep when I wanted,
and have a bowl of cereal for dinner because I didn't want to cook.
Didn't have to explain myself to anyone.
That kind of freedom was something I didn't want to totally give up.
Sounds like I am contradicting myself, doesn't it?

I have been eating some those words lately, a lot, but dipped in chocolate to make them more delicious.
M&M & I didn't really spend much time "dating" before we became inseparable,
before we decided to cohabit, before we agreed we were in this for the long haul.
And even though I'm not giving him up, he is around all the time.
So much for the whole accountability thing.
So much for the whole "...no one that was around ALL the time" thing.

But as much as I love him, and love him being here, I still need some "me time".
It went from all "me" to "us" pretty quickly.
And he needs "me time" too, but he's not quite as annoying about it as I am.
Luckily, the travel in my job gives me some time to myself,
even though I am not by myself often when I travel.
I usually stay with family, so I am still surrounded.
The "me time" comes during the long drives when I can again have witty reparté with myself.
And on my day off (most weeks I have Fridays off), I can vegetate with myself to my heart's content.

So, did I sound like a whiny baby?

It is getting better.

I am learning how to have a co-pilot instead of flying solo.

I am learning to trust.

http://www.deshow.net/d/file/cartoon/2009-03/sweet-couple-cartoons-468-2.jpg

(That picture is so sweet I think I need a wad of insulin)

NEEDING A PUSH

Back last year when M&M & I were tiptoeing into the waters of getting to know each other again after 40-odd years, we would go walking on the beach a lot...in the morning...the EARLY morning, before the crowds & heat. Sounds romantic, eh? Au contraire. Let me paint a picture... The sun was barely up when he would pick me up for the morning walk. I have on attire that is not the most flattering, to say the least, as I had spent the last few years getting squishy around the edges. Oh okay, in the middle too, so I welcomed the exercise, asked for the exercise. Trouble is, his legs are stronger than mine, and he likes to go fast. So not only am I huffing & puffing to keep up, I am sweating like something unpleasant in the meantime. I can't help it that I have an overly enthusiastic thermoregulatory system. Always have. It's a wonder he didn't keep going & leave me behind, red-faced & dripping. But, no, he is a gentleman and, sooner or later, would realize I wasn't beside him anymore and either wait patiently for me to catch up or circle back.

That was on the weekends. During the week, after he got off of work, we would go to Oak Grove Lake Park and walk. Beautiful place. I highly recommend it. Even so, as we finished our walks, I was again hot & huffing & sweaty and he is dry & breathing easy. REALLY??? Exactly how is this fair? Should be the other way round, I'm thinkin'. Later, when he got his bicycle, we would go bike riding. And guess what? He likes to ride fast too. But, again, he restrains himself from channeling Lance Armstrong & shooting ahead, leaving me to eat his dust. I hold him back, I know I do, yet he doesn't complain.

Don't get me wrong. This was not all his idea. I asked him to push me a little, to get me out of my comfort zone, to make it just a bit uncomfortable. I NEEDED to get back in shape. Oh oh, and when we went to New Hampshire for a week in October, he somehow convinced me that what I really wanted to do was climb Mt. Washington. What was I thinkin'? Gave it my best try, really I did, but I didn't make it. He was only grumpy for a couple hours afterward. He really wanted to make it all the way to the top. There was only the tiniest grumble as he said he still loved me anyway.

I didn't take this picture of the trail up the mountain. I was too busy trying to breathe & stay on my feet. 

Oh, and this is the easy part of the trail.

http://www.peakbagger-paul.com/washington3/tuckerman-trail-1.jpg

Then after we got back home, my hip started giving me fits. It felt like a hot knife stabbing me, so I did what any good therapist would do. Nothing. The doctor was only going to tell my I had torn some cartilage, and the only successful treatment so far is surgery. No thanks. So all winter, we didn't do much, with 2 results:

   1) The hip is much better now, with only occasional shenanigans and a rare hot-poker-stab.

   2) We both got squidgy.

The time is upon us to fix that. Walking & riding. Me getting red-faced & sweaty, him staying dry & unsmelly. Last weekend we rode in Seashore State Park (that's the name I grew up with and that's the name I'll always call it). The rest of the city is flat as a pancake, but there? Damn hills. My knees were barking at me the next day something fierce. Tomorrow we go to the Jamestown Island Loop Drive via the sumptious Colonial Parkway with our bikes. Gorgeous ride. Supposed to be gorgeous weather. And so it begins again....

http://www.bikenewengland.com/images/islemap.jpg