Thursday, May 10, 2012


I don't think it's any secret anymore that M&M & I are cohabiting with no plans on making it official. Rebel geezers, YEAH! As it turns out, it seems we're not that unusual anymore, as this article he sent me seems to sum up pretty well. But that leaves me with a problem. Granted, it's a problem only in my mind, but still, it bugs me. I'm thinking about this because this weekend is Mother's Day.

My problem is labels. I find the term 'boyfriend' just a tad juvenile and inaccurate. Juvenile because, for people of our steadily advancing years, he is no more a 'boy' than I am a 'girl'. Inaccurate in that it completely understates the commitment we have made to each other. So, what then?

Significant Other? Hate it!

Partner? That has connotations. The kind that would make some people assume M&M is missing a critical appendage.

Pair-Bond? Puh-leez.

Mate? My offspring would think of the verb form of the word & throw up a little in his mouth.

Shack-up Sweetie? Don't think my mother would like that one.

Sometimes when I am out traveling doing my work thing, I will just refer to him as my husband because it's easy & I can avoid questions. A lot of people assume we're married anyway, so is it really a big deal? Heck, I even got a message on my answering machine yesterday asking for Mr. or Mrs. XXXX (MY last name!). Oops, I forgot to tell him about that. Guess he'll find out now.

And what to call the family? Technically, they aren't in-laws, but his younger brother has taken to referring to me as his sister-in-law (even on Facebook, for all the world to see!), a fact which touches my heart more than I can say. I gave his sweetheart of a dad a birthday card with his name on the envelope. He looked at it and said "Who is this? It doesn't say "Dad." Awwwww. Do I get his mom a Mother's Day card? Of course. His parents have embraced me as part of the family even though I'm not....really. But does it say "Mom" or something more generic, like "To a special person that is part of my life now but I don't want to presume" type thing? Aaaaack!

M&M tells me I way over-think things and work myself up into a dither. He is totally right. I will chew & gnaw on something until I am so frustrated I start to foam at the a figurative sense. And this is another issue that will cause me to stew & furrow my brow until he wants to whack a figurative sense.

There needs to be a label for old rebel geezers like us, because somehow I don't think "Person-With-Whom-I-Am-Living-in-a-Committed-Yet-Non-Legally-Binding-Relationship" is going to cut it.

Oh, and just to clarify, I have NO idea how he refers to me to other people when I'm not around. Maybe I don't want to know?


Jim said...

Cohabitant without the benefit of clergy?

Kathy said...

If we change our minds, you'll be the first clergy to know, okay?